Anger Management - strategies to keep anger at bay The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or easily avoid, the things or the people that enrage you.  Nor can you quickly or dramatically change them but you can learn to control your reactions.

Change the way you think

Psychologists call this Cognitive Restructuring, (they would ..wouldn't they?).

"This !&**%@!! system never works!!"

Logic defeats anger because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. 

Have a positive outlook. 'Always look on the bright side of life... de dum de dum...'   Remember that it is not the end of the world and that getting angry is not going to fix the problem. Utilise 'positive self-talk' to restructure how you are thinking about the problem.

Remember that getting angry escalates the situation and heightens emotions. Logic can overcome anger. Give yourself time to think through the best solution to the problem, rather than just reacting.

Change the way you think and you are likely to express yourself more effectively. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colourful terms.  When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic.  Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones.

Remind yourself that the world is 'not out to get you', you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. 

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better, (and may actually make you feel worse). Will it really matter to you in a year's time? 

Apply these disciplines each time you feel anger getting the best of you and it will help you get a more balanced perspective.

Relaxation
Simple relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings.

Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your 'gut'. Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as 'relax', 'take it easy'. Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

Use imagery to relax and escape. Visualise something or somewhere that is calming to you.  Consider meditation techniques.

Try exercising or engaging in non-strenuous exercise like walking, stretching, yoga. Exercise can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.  Doing exercise on a regular basis will help you get more in tune with yourself.  Doing it when you are upset will help to calm both body and mind.

Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically before or when you're in a tense situation. 

Develop your problem solving skill

Not all anger is misplaced, often it can be a healthy, natural response. Sometimes, anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems. Some problems do not have a definite or immediate solution - this adds to the frustration. The best strategy in this situation is not to focus on finding the solution but on how to handle and face the problem.

Make a plan and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best shot. Don’t punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. Approach problems with your best intentions and make a serious attempt to face them head-on. This way, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.